What I’ve learned about my son during this pandemic

by The Flamingo

Switzerland has been under quarantine since the second week of March. Although this period is tough for everybody, I found out that families with young children have it the hardest. They said this stay at home time will result in a baby boom for many families…yeah right! This is for sure valid for the people with no children. Those who have one or two already don’t even have time to go to the toilet, not to mention make babies. And if you end up going to the toilet, you either fall asleep there or get an audience, if you’re thinking of hiding for too long. 

School is a big relief for parents, as well as playdates, playgrounds and organized sports. Places where your child can spend lots of energy in a healthy way are vital for the mental health of parents. It’s very hard to keep up with kids, keeping them busy, teaching new things, developing strengths and making them happy 12-14 hours a day non stop with no other real social interactions whatsoever. All the while also doing everything else an adult has to do every single day. So yes, you may find yourself at the end of your rope after a couple of weeks. 

However this period has lots of positives in it, too. We get to bond with our family more, the kids get actual time to spend with their parents, they get to see us more than ever before. We learn a lot of new things about each other, good and also bad…but mostly good. Because everybody is trying their best to cope with this situation, from child to adult, so everybody is bringing out the best in them. We discover strengths in ourselves that we didn’t know we had. Of course there are also exceptions, people who bring out the worst in them in desperate situations. But let’s not focus on those. 

What I’ve learned about my son in these 6 weeks of quarantine is really surprising.

First of all, although he is only 5, he has school online every day, homework as well. So I get to see him every day together with his class, interacting with his teachers, having virtual playdates with his mates or his girlfriend (yes…he has a girlfriend for 2 months now, this generation is very precocious). So what I’ve surprisingly learned about him in this context is that:

• He isn’t shy at all, which I was very sure he was. He speaks out loud, answers every question he is asked.
• He has initiative, he is always with his hand up in the air to share something. 
• He thinks before he answers, he doesn’t blab silly things just to say something or to get attention, although he likes attention very much. 
• He is a performer, he likes acting, he likes doing theater, singing songs and getting recorded for his homework. 
• He likes yoga a lot, he watches the videos sent from his teachers and copies them as best as he can. 
• He is competitive, not only in sports which I already knew, but also in all the school activities which require learning. 
• He loves doing his homework all together, he is doing lineups on his own, combining the things he has to do for school with his own wants and needs.

Second, I’ve learned a lot of things about him and how he is managing his “solitude” and also us in these crazy times, independent from school.

• He is compassionate, much more than I ever thought. Whenever I feel down he gives me a hug and says “mommy, tomorrow I will buy you flowers, so don’t be sad, ok?” because he knows that flowers make me smile.  
• He is willing, he mostly has a positive attitude towards new activities.
• He loves his friends to the moon and back, he is always talking about them, enquiring how they are doing, asking when he can see them again. 
• He is understanding, he knows parents have to do their own work also, so we avoided tantrums in this specific area. Sometimes he can take care of his own needs and can fill his own time without any direction. 
• He likes bike rides a lot, although until now he was more of a scooter kind of kid, and because of that, he discovered and enjoyed nature walks for the first time. 
• He has developed a passion for ants, he spends a lot of time on our terrace just observing them and building them houses.

Of course, there are also negatives to all these positives…like stubbornness and getting his will across at any cost. He whines a lot when he is in a bad mood and something doesn’t go his way. We fight a lot over TV time, cleaning his toys, eating at specific hours, bath time and bedtime. He drives us crazy very often and his energy is at a high after so many weeks of staying so much time indoors.

I wrote this article mostly for myself, to have it over the years as a positive memory from this difficult time. I encourage you, dear readers, those of you who have kids, to write the positive stuff you learned about them during this time. It will make you feel better and put everything in a better light. It will also serve you as a memory for later on, because parents tend to forget. There is too much to keep up with and we tend to leave a lot behind. Also, I encourage the readers with no kids to think of the positive things they have discovered about themselves and/or their partner.

We have still so much to learn about ourselves and the people close to us. We got the gift of time. 

Photos from Flamingo‘s archive.