Thoughts on femininity

by The Fox and The Flamingo

We live in a world where women have to behave more and more like men do, because they still don’t have the same economic, social, political and personal rights. Feminism is a powerful movement lately, and not just because of Trump and his misogynistic actions and behavior, but because it’s about time for women to have the same standing as men do. Both The Fox and The Flamingo are strong feminists, advocating for our rights whenever we get the chance or when suffer injustices based on our gender. And yes, we do believe women are equal to men and have the same rights.

But we are not going to talk about feminism here, but the femininity we are losing in this battle of ours. There are people who think that femininity is an old fashioned concept. Well, we do not agree. We believe in the ideal of femininity of Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, Grace Kelly etc. and we think that women have to and should behave differently than men.

Femininity is always in the attitude, no matter what we wear or how long our hair is or how much makeup we put on. We do not think that a girl with long curls, a ruffled dress and high heels is necessarily feminine, nor that a girl in sportswear with short hair is unfeminine. Here is a list of dos and don’ts on what The Fox and The Flamingo think femininity is supposed to look like, or at least what are simply good manners:

Dos.

• Delicacy is always a big part of femininity, from how you hold the cutlery to how you touch people and your gestures in conversations; if it doesn’t come natural to you, it can be acquired over time.
• Take your partner’s hand whenever he offers it (weather to help you get out of a car, or get down the stairs).
• Walk with the thickest book you own on your head around the house, it corrects your walk and posture.
• Speaking in normal tones with you partner in conversation is always a good idea, whether you are happy or having an argument.
• Talking too close to a person makes people uncomfortable (nobody wants to see the pores on your nose up close, nor wants to smell your onion infused salad you had for lunch). Personal space matters.
• Wait for your partner to draw you the chair before sitting (if he sits at the table before you do, then consider him unworthy).
• Let your partner suggest what type of alcohol is appropriate (knowing too much about alcohol is not something you can boast with, especially spirits).
• Know how to dance in pairs, whether it is waltz or any other kind of dance it’s recommended not stepping on your partner’s toes, is unladylike.
• Glance and do not stare.
• Compliment people for their strengths, if you need to point out something negative and cannot abstain yourself, do it between two sincere compliments.
• Be a good listener and don’t monopolize the conversation.
• Be modest and unassuming.
• Always wear perfume, but discreetly rather than swimming in it.
• Of course your appearance matters, the right accessories, scarves, not too much jewelry or makeup, hair always in order or in an artful disorder.

Don’ts

• Smoking, although some think a woman’s smoking is very sensual (we do not contest that). The smell of tobacco isn’t though, and however long you wash your hands the smell lingers, not to mention the reek on the hair and clothes.
• Laughing too loudly or like you are the close relative of a donkey.
• Know your alcohol limit, a woman wobbling like a goose after a night out holding onto her partner for dear life is neither feminine nor attractive.
• Vulgarity isn’t a synonym to femininity, so if you’re wearing a short skirt be sure not to also have a deep cleavage, or if you have a lipstick in a bold colour, please wear minimal makeup on your eyes.
• Too high heels, if you can not manage to walk on them like you are walking on air.
• Arrogance, it’s good to be sure of yourself and at times proud, but being a “know it all” is insulting.
• Use swear words, it’s not flattering.
• Indifference, not showing empathy towards other people’s problems or compassion for animals. 

Many in the list above apply to gentlemen as well, but that’s for another article for us to write. In this one though, we advocate for our right to keep our femininity, although we are feminists, and not be considered weak or helpless because of it. Feminism and femininity shouldn’t collide, they work well hand in hand. Embrace your femininity in our troubled times when a woman is considered strong and equal to a man, only if she becomes more and more like him. 

Photo from Flamingo‘s archive