Christmas as an expat
by The Flamingo
This is my 4th Christmas away from my home country. The first Christmas I spent in the desert of the UAE, the next ones in the highlands of Switzerland. Although very different from one another, like fire and ice, they were both tough. Truth be told, there’s no Christmas like home.
Ever since I was a child, Christmas was definitely the best part of the year for me…together with the holidays spent at the seaside. I am a very traditional person, kind of old fashioned in my ways, I keep to my habits, most of them considered outdated by some. But it was always what brought me joy and comfort: things done in a certain way.
The holidays, in particular, were about my family. Not just my parents, but also my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and also many close family friends. Christmas time was always a buzz, between visiting everybody, eating delicious food and exchanging presents. I loved all of that! Many people find it tiresome but I didn’t. Even after I got married I tried keeping most of my traditions and adding some more to the mix with my husband: more family, more friends. As an adult I began going to specific Christmas concerts every year, to the Opera to see my favorite ballet and also when I started working as a teacher there were the famous Christmas celebrations with my kids. All in all…the busiest time of the year and I thrived on it.
After moving away with my husband and my son, it all went away. Everything I knew about Christmas was there no more. Of course there were always Christmas trees and decorations in my home, the Christmas menu always on the table just so, maybe also a few friends over. But all in all, it was a pale shadow of what once was.
The question that bugged me was, how do I reinvent Christmas and myself at the same time. Because this is my new reality and I have to make it work. Pining over lost things that once were only brought unnecessary suffering. I had to redefine Christmas. From the busiest time of the year, to the quietest one. So I learned to like quiet and to find joy in the smallest of things:
- Learning to cook goose.
- Wandering through all of the Christmas markets in Zürich, lots and lots of times.
- Watching my child play all Christmas day long with his new toys.
- Painting a Christmassy picture.
- Eating a Christmas meal prepared not by my mother or grandmother.
- Going on a road trip somewhere snowy the day after Christmas.
- Having quiet time with some friends without all the hassle and pressure.
- Watching way too many Christmas movies.
- Reading lots this time of the year.
- Going ice skating a lot more than before.
Changes in life are inevitable for some, maybe more so than for others. Also change is harder to embrace by people more like myself (it depends of course on the type of change). Maybe sometimes we just need to hit the restart button and begin something entirely new. I keep surprising myself by my resources and my capacity of evolving, by this new me. The fact is, people need to be happy so we try doing whatever we can to achieve some similarity to happiness.
Although I miss my Christmases at home, I know they are long gone. Because I changed, the people in my life changed as well, so it’s impossible to go back to what it was. Reconciliation with an idea is never a good feeling, so this is not the purpose. The purpose is of course to actually find joy and balance in change, in the new things that are happening in my life, in the new Christmas celebration.
An expat Christmas doesn’t have to be a lonely or a sad Christmas. If returning home this time isn’t an option, than find joy and purpose in your own new traditions. Nothing is written in stone and it shouldn’t be, it’s not healthy! Christmas should be merry for each and every one of us.
Happy Holidays to all my readers! Here are some of our family’s favorite Christmassy pass times:
Photos from Flamingo‘s archive.
