Becoming Heidi

by The Flamingo

What do people think of first when mentioning, for example, “France”? Fashion, art, macaroon, La Vie en rose? Or what do they think of when hearing “UK”? Rain, pubs, the queen, fish’n’chips? How about “Switzerland”? Ski, chocolate or maybe cheese, watches, private schools?

Well, I’ll tell you what I thought of first when hearing I was going to move to Switzerland: snow, Christmas and a posh life. Well I’ve been somewhat let down by all of my three concepts. Snow is mostly in the mountains, Christmas ends on the 23rd of December and my imagined posh life transformed in a very real and very rustic life. What I didn’t know about the Swiss, whatever the financial status, is that they love nature, they spend all their free time outdoors be it rain, sun or frost, they eat only organic and they exercise every single day, mostly jogging, swimming in the lake and winter sports. They own only waterproof jackets, jeans and sneakers or boots, sometimes even both.  Anything that is unrelated with nature and sports is mostly perceived as uninteresting. To each his own, of course. But adapting in a new country means also embracing the lifestyle here, so not to feel the odd man out…or woman in my case.

Let me tell you what I thought of nature, before coming here:

1. Nature is just at the seaside.
2. Forests mean ticks.
3. Only masochists climb mountains, which I am not!
4. Barbecue in summer on a lovely meadow…once in a blue moon, or better said not since I was 14.
5. Jogging meant a three hour shopping spree on my payday.
6. Socializing was done in the inside of a lovely restaurant with a very delicate and lovely looking dish in front of me.
7. Countryside meant just visiting my old uncle and getting some organic products for my fridge, not more than a couple of hours at most.
8. Getting wet in the rain?…yeah right, didn’t happen!
9. Sleigh rides were done just in the parks on the very organized alleyways.
10. Mud? No…that was a very big no!

Now let me enlighten you of my new Swiss ways:

1. Climbing hills once a day – check.
2. Wearing jeans, snickers and waterproof jackets 98% of the time – check.
3. Barbecue on the terrace on sunny days (this is a Swiss national sport) – check.
4. Frequently eating sloppy dishes mostly containing a very big and offensive looking sausage, in the fresh air, on a wooden table full of splinters – check.
5. Strolling through a corn field on a hot summer day – check.
6. Taking walks in the forests every other weekend – check.
7. Swimming with ducks in the lake, thinking of salmonella- check.
8. Buying a carrot that costs as much as a chicken in other countries- check.
9. Shopping? What is this strange word…of course not, I’d rather feed the birds of the lake, at least I can afford that – check.
10. Starting my very own herb garden on the terrace: weeding, rubber gloves, watering can and back pain – check.
11. Mud? Sure, why not…let me just wallow in it…I heard it’s rejuvenating – check.

What I have YET to check on my list:

• Sunbathing in my bikini on the lake shore, right across one of the Swiss banks, in the heart of the city with people in suits walking by me.
• Maybe doing also a little nudism right on the corner of the Opera in the bathing areas organized for such “sports”.
• Doing a hike on a high mountain weekly… I’m trying really hard to embrace my inner masochist to make this happen.
• Enjoying the smell of cow manure wherever I go, I still cheat a little with my perfumed scarf, which in my defense has also a natural smell…flowery.
• Sleeping in nature the whole night, in the dark, with insects crawling and animal noises in the background, in something they call a “tent”…never heard of it.
• Throwing my life away on ski slopes.
• Own a cow or a goat.

Don’t judge! It’s really hard becoming somebody else in a small amount of time. Jokes aside and all, let’s say I am trying to embrace a new lifestyle, a more natural and healthy one, without thinking I’m abandoning my old self. To feel a little joy in a strange new place means at least a bit of adapting, so this is what I’m trying to achieve in order to belong. “Ruralize” is my new favorite word, enhancing the rustic side of The Flamingo.