A guide to being chill

by The Flamingo

In this era of ours a lot of people are battling anxiety. Unfortunately, The Flamingo is no stranger to this problem. It’s an unending and tiring war with my own mind and body for eight years now. Some say it’s a genetic inheritance, others say that it’s the result of a stressful job or that some unpleasant experiences may have triggered it. Regardless of the reason, anxiety has nestled deep down inside of me and I have to feel those icy talons squeezing around my neck, whenever “she” feels like making a grand appearance. 

These years of battling “her” have taught me some lessons and I enjoy it immensely whenever I succeed in leashing her tightly. So, dear reader, if you experience this unexplainable fear in different situations too, panic attacks that shadow your joy for living, if you have an intolerance to uncertainty, this personal guide may be of some help, without resorting to medication. 

1. Surround yourself with aloof people, who live by these words: “fun and fancy free”. I found over the years that optimistic friends do me the most good. With no worries to furrow their brow, no clouds hanging over their heads, with their smiles plastered on their faces, seeing just the beauty in life, they do not ponder what awaits them around the corner. You know who you are…and on this occasion I would like to thank you for pulling me out of darkness whenever I need it. Friends or acquaintances, doesn’t matter, just have cheerful people around you and loosen up at least in their presence, it will unload you for a while. Hakuna Matata!
2. Sunshine. Summer sun or winter sun, it doesn’t matter, for me at least. The cold doesn’t creep in your mind, if the rays of sunshine are caressing your skin. Unfortunately, my current home is in the rainy, cloudy part of Switzerland, so the weather doesn’t help me much at this time. But from my former experience, I learned that the best place for me and my anxiety is somewhere under bright sky.
3. The sea. I find the sound of waves and seagulls very relaxing and soothing. Also staring at that never ending horizon puts things into perspective for me. The boats rocking in the harbour and the salty smell of the sea and algae subdue any attempt by the anxiety to show her ugly face. My advice is, if you don’t live by the sea, go as often as you can, if you can afford it. Even a weekend if not more. I would choose the sea over any city break, because the balance it brings me is priceless. 
4. Have a list of your favorite things. I wrote this in an older article: when you don’t feel at ease, or you do something that may trigger that fear, just go through your list. I recommend writing it down to have a clear picture of it in your mind. Even if you think it’s childish, it really helps calm your mind thinking of those things you like doing. 
5. Comfort food. Its name isn’t random. Food helps you, tasty food full of flavour. Well, in gastronomy comfort food symbolizes a few dishes that are mostly fatty or greasy. It doesn’t have to be that way, in my opinion comfort food means whatever you like eating the most. If it’s sugar, or fries, or sushi or something else entirely. Food fuels those endorphins. So if you are happy and satisfied, the anxiety tends to be kept at bay. Eat your favorite foods often!
6. Exercise. It’s the same principle as comfort food, releases the happy hormones. The gloom dissipates when met with some mild physical effort. For example gymnastics works for me, but everybody is different. Other kinds of “exercise” enter in this category as well, if you have a partner. If you are a bit lazy, like myself, massage is the most relaxing in this category, it’s healthy for your muscles and a dream for your mind. 
7. Own a pet. Cats are known to relieve stress, they are generous in offering their services whenever they feel that something is wrong with their “pet”. Not everybody is a cat person though. Dogs do a good job, too, they are kind and offer unconditional love, on top of that exercise you do everyday by walking it. So own a pet you can cuddle with. 
8. Find a soothing hobby. I rely on painting and writing to balance my chaos. Sometimes I do a little meditation as well. You have to find something calming that helps you express your feelings in a positive way. You don’t have to excel at it, if it brings some peace of mind then it’s enough.
9. Read books with positive content. Literature is helping me a lot, especially in those periods when anxiety wants to party the night away. A “happy book”, as I call it, will help me get through my insomnia. It’s not necessary to read these types of books all the time, it’s just enough to have them on your nightstand for whenever you need them. The positive story will calm you down, just being somebody else for the night will put that anxiety to bed.
10. The last, but not least, what to do during a panic attack: have a “happy place”. Whenever you feel the chill creeping down your spine, when your breath begins to shorten, when you feel that iron fist deep inside your chest or that icy claw squeezing your neck, then go as quickly as possible with your mind to your happy place. Every person has a happy place, a place they go to in that moment before falling asleep, or when simply daydreaming, or maybe seeing it in a redundant dream. My happy place has always been the same: me on a deserted beach with an important person by my side. It doesn’t waver, it always warms my heart whenever I think of this place. Close your eyes, if you have your favorite music with you even better, put the earbuds on and travel there with your mind. The warmth of the thoughts helps you relax, the sound of the music as well, the chill disappears and you can breathe and swallow again normally. So discover your happy place!

I wanted to write this article on a lighter note, but I found that humor was the last thing on my mind when tackling this subject. This is a very sensitive and serious topic for me, not easy to disclose. Remember, this is my personal guide to dealing with anxiety, it’s not a professional opinion, it also may or may not work on you. If your anxiety is really affecting your lifestyle, then the best option is to see a specialist. 

My advice is not to give in, I really think that it can be cured through many positive thoughts and happy experiences. Don’t let it control your life! 

Photo from Flamingo‘s archive.